I miss him again. :[

I'm missing Bubba again. I miss him SO bad all the time... the song Not A Day Goes By by Lonestar REALLY fits how I feel about Bubba... not a day goes by that I don't think of him.

He still has my heart, even two months later. I do love Josh, but for some reason, I still love Bubba more, even though him and I have only talked once since we broke up.... I've been crying about him for the last hour. Colton called me and I was trying not to start crying again while talking to him... he said he called just to tell me good night, but I think he was just horny and when he heard that I was depressed, he didn't want to piss me off.... so yeah. He never calls to tell me good night, so that's why I think that.

I've been thinking about what Bubba said to me when he REALLY opened his heart to me.... "I spend my day waiting to call you. Every time I hear your voice, I NEVER want to let you go."..... that makes me start bawling my eyes out every time I think of it. Like right now.

WHY must I still love him so damn much? I've tried forgetting my love for him, but this fire won't burn out.

Warren's Birthday Party

So today was Warren's fifth birthday, and I didn't want to go to the party. Mama ended up talking me into it, so I went, and I had more fun than I've had in a long, long time, believe it or not.
I got to ride again. That really does mean something to me, because I haven't ridden in a couple years, and I seriously missed it. I got to ride a gorgeous Quarter Horse gelding named Shammy. He's going on eight years old, I think. He's just... wow. Amazing.
He was pretty hard to control at first because he wouldn't go and kept stopping and stuff, but eventually he did what I wanted him to do. He even kept bucking, and I never once fell off. xD

So yeah. I was SO happy. :D

That sexy beast to the left is Shammy. :D. My ugly ass is on him. xD

ATC

This one is titled "ATC" because it's the only thing from my day that's actually worth talking about. So, when we got to ATC, we went to our class, and hung out for the first couple minutes, then me, Kyle, Ashley, and Joe went to the back and started on the tires again. Ashley was getting really, really pissy at everyone because she was getting all frustrated at the tire machine, so yeah. She eventually got it done, though.
Then, when it was my turn to mess with a tire, it took me a bit to get started because I was worried I'd blow the tire up somehow. Lol. But I was okay. So, I did that, then I couldn't get the damn rubber off the stupid bead thing, so Scott had to help me with that. I paid attention when he went over it, but I forgot, so yeah. It's pretty easy, though. After I get the hang of it, I bet I won't be able to believe that I actually had trouble with it.
I got pretty greasy and stuff, but that just made it funner. :]
So yeah, that's really all I have to write about.

Sunday Morning

Well, Josh failed me yet again.
He wanted to sneak out again last night, and I said yes, and he was going to bring his cousin again for reasons I don't know, but we'd drop her off at her friends house just like we did last time..
Anyways, he texted me and goes "Guess what" and I was like 'What?" and he goes "I got a fucking flat." OHMYGOD. That pissed me off SO bad.
I was already forcing myself to stay awake waiting on him, and then that? What the fuckin' fuck? That damn car. That's the SECOND time. Ugh!

Anyways, that's done and over with, so I'm over it.
But last night, me and Colton were talking, and he was all horny and I wouldn't do anything about it, then he got all mad, and eventually he said I made him feel like shit because he "can't even get the girl that he likes horny." and I was like "Well, you're not shit. I'm just.. not able to get horny right now. I'm sorry. Damn." Then we hung up and waited a couple hours then he called me back and we talked a good while and then he was like "Are you my baby, baby?" and I was like "I don't know... do you want me to be?" and he goes "Well, if I'm talking on the phone with you at two in the morning on a Saturday night, I think I'd want you to be." and I was like "Aw. Okay." Haha. He's incredibly cute.

And tomorrow is our two month, so he'd better be ready to be pretty damn sweet to me. :]

The Lady And The Night's Events

Well, the lady was pretty cool. She had awesome snakebites that I absolutely want. We tried doing that tattoo thing, but it looked all bad so I had to rinse it off, lol.

I was SO emotional all night, and I have no idea why. Daddy and them were talking about Angel, which made me start crying a bit, so I had to walk away so no one would see. Then, they made fun of me and my best friend. And since my best friend is gay, he gets messed with a lot for it, and for some reason I started crying about them being mean about him like that.

No one has really texted me all day.. I'm pretty lonely. Nick has a gf, obviously.. I wish he would've told me. There's another almost-heartbreak for me. I'm glad I didn't fall for him like I said I did...

It's 2:32am, and I'm geting tired, but I don't want to go to bed. I want to stay up and screw around on the computer, you know? (Oh damn, I was just thinking and I was SO close to falling asleep).

Josh and I have barely texted today, and our two month anniversary is on Monday (the 14th). I'm excited, but at the same time I'm nervous. If he goes off and gets drunk and thrown in jail and don't bother to call me, I'm going to be pissed. That's what happened on our one month. Ugh..

So Much For Megan's Parents

Well, that one lady is still coming over, but she's not bringing either of her dogs, because obviously she doesn't want to have to go through collapsing and setting up any cages to put them in, so yeah.
There's just another thing I got my hopes up for, and ended up having those hopes ruined over. Ugh. I need to stop doing that.
Mom just got home and told me that the lady is going to be leaving her place at around 8, and it's 6:22 now.
But I am going to be getting a tattoo tonight. Not a real one, but this tattoo should supposedly last about a month, so I don't know. :]

Home From School

Okay, so, like I said, I forgot what site this was, lol. I had to go on Google to find it. xD. My forgetful self.

School was pretty good, I guess. Nothing major to write about.

Megan is out of her cage, and she's annoying me with the rattling of that damn collar. lol. This lady my mom works with might be staying over tonight for some reason. I don't know... Anyways, said lady is the one who bred Megan's parents, and she wanted to bring her dogs, so Mama said yes. So, Megan is going to get to see her mama and daddy. :]. I've never seen them, so I'm excited. And with Megan being as cute as she is, I'm sure her parents will be pretty as hell.

The picture is Megan. :].

She's a Lab x Shepherd x Chow x Beagle. She's awful adorable for a mutt, ain't she? :D

First

Well, this is my first blog on here.
I'm probably going to end up forgetting all about this, so I reckon I'll just type in it while I remember.

I'm watching Harold and Kumar: Escape From Guantanamo Bay right now... I wish Nick would stop signing in and out of Yahoo.. it kinda depresses me. lol.

I don't know whether or not I love him... I get all excited when I see that he signs in, and I get like.. "ah, fuck." when he signs out. o.O.
Maybe I just like him a lot.. I don't know. But it's killing me. I just wish he lived closer so I could actually be with him.
Don't get me wrong, I'm COMPLETELY happy with Josh, but Nick just seem so.. fun. Josh gets all serious sometimes. It's nice that he can be mature about things, but still.

So yeah, I know this was a short post thing, but whatever.
I actually think I'm going to put this in my favorites so I won't forget it. :]